


The Art of Defending Yourself

by JustCallMeGirlFriday



Series: Trying to protect your loved ones [8]
Category: Army Wives
Genre: F/F, F/M, Lovable!Finn, M/M, Mama Bear!Denise, Pro-active! Roxy, Protective!Claudia Joy, Son beating up mother!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCallMeGirlFriday/pseuds/JustCallMeGirlFriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy teaches Denise the fine arts of defending herself against her son and against the world. Denise and Jeremy learn to reform their close bond - as BOTH of them heal from the anger, and the attacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Boxing Lesson

Denise hit Roxy's up ward hands with the thick pads tentatively. She couldn't believe that she allowed Roxy to talk her into learning how to box. She would never hit Jeremy, ever. No matter how bad things got with him. But ever since Roxy had walked into her home with Jeremy attacking her, she was hell bent on teaching Denise on how to defend herself. 

"Harder!" Roxy roughly said. "Hit me harder damnit. Don't be afraid to give me all you have, woman." She glared into Denise's uneasy eyes. "I'm tough, I can take it." She softens her voice. "Now hit me harder. Now!" Her voice hardens once more.

Denise sighed and took another punch at Roxy, but she knew that she had failed and she knew that Roxie was growing even more exasperated with her. She couldn't blame her. But she couldn't help it, Denise hated violence and she never dreamed that she herself would come to point that she herself would use violence as an answer to her problems.

"The next time you throw a wussy punch like that, woman, than I'll flatten you on the mat. Now hit me with all your strength damn it." Roxy grunted as she held her arms up firmly for the older woman to smack. She just prayed that Denise would have the confidence in herself to finally defend herself.

Denise couldn't help it, but she threw another wussy punch at Roxy. She just couldn't allow herself to let herself go, even through she had all this anger pent up inside her. Yes anger at Jeremy for abusing her, but angry at herself for taking it and not telling Frank. She felt her self loaf rise in her and she swung at Roxie and than she swung again and again. She didn't know how long she swung at the other woman, whom had turned into her son but she swung and swung until she felt her feet give away and she landed on the mat breathing more intensely than she ever had in her entire life.

Roxy ripped the pads from her hands and dropped them as she knelt down in front of the older woman. She placed her right hand on Denise's shaking shoulders. She waited to see how Denise would react.

Denise closed her eyes as she fought to get her breath back under control. She couldn't believe how exhilaration it felt to finally let lose and allow her body to rid itself of all the pent-up anger and frustrations that she had been carrying around since... well since she was small enough to learn that she had to hold her anger and pain inside. What she was feeling right now in this moment was so freeing.

Freeing yes but very frightening. Denise didn't know how to move beyond this point. She wanted Frank by her side, he would know how to help and comfort her. If she couldn't have her soul mate than she wanted Claudia Joy, the one woman whom had been her best friend since the first moment they met at one of her luncheons years ago when Frank had been transferred to the base.

But she was very aware that she was in one of the gyms alone, husband and best friend less, with a very hunky African American solider to the right of her lifting weights and a brass woman whom she had just met a few weeks ago. A woman that she herself never thought she would have anything in common with and a woman whom she thought would have passed out of her life without a second thought.

But that all changed when the young woman had come to her for assistance to help another young woman deliver her babies. That day changed Denise's life forever and she was forever grateful for it.

Denise felt her breath slow and her senses came back to her. She slowly opened her eyes and looked in the concern open brown eyes of Roxy, but she saw pride shining in them also. "Another round?" She asked with a small smile.

"Anytime." Roxy said relieved that Denise wanted to continue to box and defend herself. She placed a hand on Denise's shaking shoulder. "But not today, missy, hit the showers. And stretch a few times today."

"But I don't want to stop. I want to continue. I need to continue." Denise said as she looked into Roxy's eyes.

"Sorry." Roxy said with a slight grin. "You will thank me tomower, that I stopped you when I did." She stood to her feet and held out her hand for the older woman to take.

Denise slowly lifted her hand and took Roxy's offered one, she allowed the younger woman to help her from the ground. She didn't want to stop. She wanted to continue going, but she very well knew it was just the endorphins talking. She very well knew that Roxy made perfect sense, stretch a few times after a hard work out that she just had and take a nice hot steamy shower to help loosen her tight muscles. When she was a nurse; she had advised the soldiers with tight muscles just that practice. She sighed deeply through her nose. "Ok, I'll follow your advice, Roxy …." She smiled suddenly. "But I demanded another boxing round in the next few days." With that she walked besides her new good friend towards the female showers.

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Weird Dreams

Denise climbed into her side of the bed and winced as she felt her soar muscles. She was glad that she had stopped when Roxy told her too; she knew she would have regretted it if she hadn't. She frowned through when she looked at Frank's side of the bed. She missed her husband and wished that he was beside her. She hated it when he had to go off to fight in the war. She wished that she could be his side always but that wasn't how the armed forces worked. And for good reason. She completely understood that; but it didn't make it any easier when her soul mate was risking his life every second of every single day in the war.

But Denise would never dream of complaining, not to Frank, not to Claudia Joy and especially not to herself. It wasn't done as the wife of a solider. She must remain strong on the outside and in her inner most species of her soul.

Denise sighed and lowered herself down onto her pillow and she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep after saying her prayers. Her prayers that she hadn't actually said amen too since she was born. Sides whom truly finished their inner most soul prayer from the moment they were created while they were still breathing this earthly air? She felt her muscles loosen as she relaxed. She let all her worries wash away so she could attempt to a good nights' sleep.

DREAMLAND

Denise placed her hands underneath the water to wash them from the germs that were in the all clean bathroom, but even the cleanest place has germs. Germs are in the air and invisible after all.

Claudia Joy looked down at Denise's arm from when she grabbed it. "What is this? Bruises?" She looked searching in her friend's face. What she saw she didn't like. "Denise..."

"Bruises, oh these bruises I got them from lifting someone the wrong way." Denise quickly said as she tried to free her arm from Claudia Joy's vise which suddenly tightened. She was by no means going to tell the truth. Not that she was afraid that Claudia Joy would look down at her, but she didn't want to admit to herself that she was a bad mother. Only a bad mother would allow her son, her own child, to abuse her.

"You haven't been a nurse for twelve years, now tell me the truth, Denise, how did you get these bruises?" Claudia Joy softly but firmly asked as she looked meaningfully into her best friend's, and truly her only real friend on the base.

Before Denise could reassure Claudia Joy that she was truly all right the stall door opened and Denise's eyes widen and her breath was taken slightly away.

Roxy opened the stall door and walked out of the stall and over to the sinks. She was very much aware of the two fancy dressed women standing at the sinks just staring at her in her bra and her thong. Yes she was truly embarrassed to have her fellow army wives to see her in her sluttish underwear. But hell this day had given her the most embarrassment moment in her life when she accidentally knocked the red wine glass into her lap staining her dress. She didn't want to embarrass Trevor any more than she had, so she had rushed to the women's' room to take the dress off so she could get the stain out before it set.

Unfortunately of all the women to see her in her thong had to be very rich and highly placed women in the whole army wives division. Shit Roxie kept her eyes firmly on her dress trying to keep the deep blush from showing on her checks.

Denise couldn't keep her eyes off of the young woman who was standing next to her and Claudia Joy in just her underwear. Not just any underwear but a thong. Denise would never EVER have the guts or courage to even think of wearing a thong. Boy pants would be as far as she would go. She admired the young woman for her guts and brazen. She could sense Claudia Joy wanting to say something and prayed that she would have enough class not to say anything rude.

She has guts I have to give her that. Claudia Joy successfully hid the smirk that fought its way to her lips. She was relieved to see that only a small smile was on her lips from her corner view in the mirror. She could feel Denise tense beside her.

"Either of you women have any club soda?" Roxy looked up in the mirror and caught the glimpses in the women eyes as they looked at her. "For the dress." She raised her eye brows.

Denise looked down at her purse and opened it and pulled out a little bottle of club soda. "I never leave home without it." She offered it to the young woman.

"Thank you." Roxy took the offered bottle and turned back to her dress. "I think I'm more embarrassed on knocking over the glass of red wine on myself, than I'm appearing just in my underwear in the women's bathroom." She said trying to fill up the awkward silence. "Luckily I wasn't wearing white."

"Yes good thing." Claudia Joy agreed with a nod of her head. She wondered just how much this young woman who was new to the base had heard of her conversion with Denise. She aimed to find out.

"Keep the bottle." Denise said moving towards the door. "Coming Claudia Joy?" She said meaningfully.

"Thank you." Roxy said with a nod. She turned to look at Denise face on. "I didn't mean to chase you from the ladies room."

"You haven't chased me away," Denise let the door handle go and walked back over to the row of the sinks and she leaned against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. "See." She said slightly jetting her chin out in front of her.

"You don't have to prove anything to her." Claudia Joy said with a frown as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Who says I'm trying to prove anything?" Denise raised her eye brows.

END DREAMLAND

Denise's eyebrows rose in her sleep as her lips moved into a smirk. Jeremy wondered what his mother was dreaming about to crease her face like that. She didn't know it but sometimes he would sneak into her room and just watch her sleep. He was the man of the house when his father was away and he was in charge of making sure his mother was kept safe.

He frowned and his jaw tightened. He was the most dangerous person to his mother's well being. He hit his mother whenever he loses his temper, especially when the pressure to go to West Point and join the military himself was upon him; which is every freaking day. He truly didn't mean to hurt his mother, but she was always there when his anger hits the roof and he just swings out and hit her. Sometimes he's lucky to just slap her across her check and he calms down to realize just what he had done to his mother. But other times he repeating hits her or twists her arms behind her. He mostly hits her in the stomach.

He knew that he would be safe because she never told his father. But than she went, told Claudia Joy and Michael Holden. After Mr. Holden dressed him down; he promised himself that he wouldn't hurt his mother ever again. But than his temper rose once more and she just had to go on and on about West Point and the honor of it; and he just lost it. That was when Roxy showed up and managed to push him away from his mother whom he had pushed against the wall with his hand across her mouth; Roxy had kneed him the groin. She had ordered him out of the house and he had run off in fear.

If Roxy hadn't shown up when she had; than Jeremy was terrified that he would have hurt his mother worse than he ever had. God he could have probably killed her the way his blood boiled. He was very thankful to Roxy for saving his mother's life. He swore to himself that no matter what happens he would never lose his temper again and go after his mother.

His mother showed up at his bedroom door and sternly told him that if he ever hit her again, than she would have him arrested, she would change the locks on the doors and never allow him in her home ever again. Jeremy was proud of her for finally standing up to him. He saw a side of his mother he never saw before.

He sighed once more as his mother's face turned into a frown. He just hoped that she wasn't dreaming of him for a change. He very well knew that his mother had nightmares about him; especially after the times that he hit her. He couldn't blame her. He was the cause of it. But she was tossing and turning like she normally did. So the dream wasn't about him. Perhaps it was about his dad.

DREAMLAND

Claudia Joy rolled her eyes. "Well than let's go." She herself walked over to the bathroom door and put her hand on the handle.

Roxy started to laugh gently and softly.

Claudia Joy looked over at the young woman and frowned darkly. "Why is this so funny?" She asked in a snobbish voice.

"What are you so afraid of?" Roxy asked wiping the smile off her face. She didn't look over at Denise she kept her eyes firmly on Claudia Joy. She finally saw that the stain was out and she went walked over to the air dryer and pushed it on. She held the wet dress underneath and waited for it to slowly dry. She very well knew that Claudia Joy wanted to know how much she had heard in her conversion with Denise. But she would be damn if she would tell. Roxy could keep her own private thoughts to herself thank you very much. Sides she could hear the fear in Denise's voice as she was trying to get out of the conversion about her bruises.

Sides the other two women didn't know but they weren't the only three in the bathroom at the moment. There was couple in the stall next to where Roxy was silently having a booty call. So there was no way Roxy would publicly state what she had overhead.

"I'm not afraid of anything. Why should I be?" Claudia Joy huffed. She shook her head back and forth. "Look, I need to get back out there. My husband is probably wondering why powdering my nose is taking so long." She turned and looked at Denise. "I'm sure Frank is wondering the same thing himself."

"Of course." Denise said with a nod and with a more of a pleasant nod over at Roxy than what Claudia Joy had given her, she followed Claudia Joy out of the bathroom.

"You didn't have to be so rude to the poor girl, Claudia Joy." Denise said as they walked back towards where the dinner was being held. Only they were walking down a long white hallway. The walls were pictures of Frank, Jeremy and herself. There were pictures of her and her family happy and loving. But among them are pictures of Jeremy hitting her and hurting her. There a few pictures of when Roxy had yanked Jeremy away from her and kneed him in the groin to stop hurting her. But mostly the pictures were mixed together, happy, anger and fearful and complete happiness. Oh she wanted to stay with the happy pictures, she didn't want to have to face how horrible the anger and fearful pictures were.

Oddly Claudia Joy didn't notice the pictures, she didn't notice anything expect for Denise. Claudia Joy suddenly stopped and turned to Denise and roughly took Denise's hand which had the latest bruise on it. "Who gave you this bruise, Denise? Frank?" Her voice hardens and her face turned dark.

"What? No! Of course not." Denise said shocked that Claudia Joy would even think that Frank would hurt her.

"Than who fucking hurt you, Denise?" Claudia Joy demanded.

"No one." Denise said with a shake of her head. "Like I said earlier; I lifted someone the wrong way is all."

"And like I said in reply, Denise, you haven't been a nurse for twelve years." Claudia Joy's hand tightens into Denise's hand.

"You don't know everything I do, Claudia Joy." Denise said trying to yank back her hand. She blinked as the pain hit her. "You are hurting me, Claudia Joy." She whispered.

Before Claudia Joy could move Roxy was suddenly there pulling Claudia Joy away from her and slugging her in the stomach. "Leave Denise alone, damn you." Roxy turned around to face Denise. "Why didn't lay her flat? I thought you how to defend yourself for crying out loud. So do it damn it."

"I'm sorry." Denise murmured as she fell to the floor weeping.

END DREAMLAND

"I'm sorry." Denise sobbed out as she buried her head into her pillow.

Jeremy wanted to wake his mother and comfort her, but he knew that he was the very last person she would like to see in her bedroom in the middle of the night. He knew that if he tried to comfort her than she would totally freak out and scream murder. He couldn't blame her at all; he did this to himself. He just had to make it right somehow.

He stood to his feet and made his way out of her bedroom before his mother woke up and saw him. He moved down the hall and leaned against it with his arms wrapped around himself. If his mother should call out for him; than he wanted to be close at hand.

Denise awoke to her uncontrollable sobbing. She moved her knees up to her stomach and she wrapped her arms around her stomach as she lay on her side and sobbed. She tried to control of her sobs; but they were out of her control.

END CHAPTER TWO


	3. The Following Day

MEETING A NEW DAY

Jeremy blinked rapidly as he noticed the sun beams dance on the wall that he was facing; that he had been facing all night long. He knew his mother was safe from her dreams now; that the sun was up. He walked down the hallway bent on disappearing from sight before his mom walked out of her room. He knew he would be the last person she wanted to see first thing this morning.

He walked to the stairs that led to the only bedroom upstairs; which was his. He paused at his door as he heard his mother make her way to the kitchen for her morning coffee. Damn he forgot to turn it on for her. He needs to remember to do that one act of kindness for her. He shook his head as he entered his bedroom he shut the door softly behind him. He wanted to crawl back into bed and catch up on the sleep that he had lost while he had been keeping a sharp eye on his mother the previous night. But he knew that he had a full day a head of him with his duties as Major Sherwood son. His father would be seriously pissed if Jeremy backed out his obligations because he didn't get any sleep. There were no excesses in Frank Sherwood's book not live up to your obligations. Expect if you are seriously sick or in a serious accident of course.

Denise had awoken with a dry mouth and very dry eyes. She remembered that she had woken up in a deep heart breaking sob the night before. She just wished she could remember what her nightmare had been about. She knew it had something to do with Jeremy. Her heart had broken from the first moment that she had witnessed Jeremy's deep fear. It wasn't anger that had made Jeremy lash out and hurt her; no it was fear. Deep rooted fear of having to die for his country. She knew that so she could easily forgive Jeremy for hitting her. Even when he pushed her against the wall with his hand on her mouth; she looked deep into her son's eyes and saw his soul; his sweet baby soul which had cried out for his mommy to protect him.

Denise will protect her son with every fiber that she had. She was his mother after all. She knew that was the real reason why she told Michael Holden about Jeremy hitting her. She knew that Michael would find a way to prevent Jeremy going to West Point. She wanted to tell Jeremy that she was working on a way on helping him; but she didn't want to give him false hope; just in case he ended up having to go in September. She had to lie to Frank so Frank wouldn't be pissed off before he had to go to the front lines. She didn't want anything to distract Frank. That was why she had never told Frank that Jeremy had screamed and hit her when he was home from the last time he was deployed. Until Frank retired, Denise wouldn't tell him the truth. She knew that he would be very angry when she finally did tell him the truth, not only with Jeremy for hurting her but with her because she hadn't been completely honest with him.

But Denise was willing to take the risk of Frank never talking or trusting her again in order to protect her son. She wasn't going to allow anything to hurt Jeremy; she was quite relieved that Jeremy had chosen a life out side of the armed forces. She had to worry about her husband and she never looked forward to having to worry about her child. Now that was taken care of.

Jeremy knew that she would tell Claudia Joy about what happened between them when Roxie had broken it up. So she knew that he would personally go to Michael Holden and confess to him. Michael was a fair man; and he truly did care for Jeremy; so Denise knew that Michael would help Jeremy find the help that he needed so he could control his anger issue and conquer his fear. So West Point is officially over where her family was concerned. Denise was relieved.

Denise got out of bed and pulled on her robe and she tied it around her waist as she walked from her bedroom. She stopped as she smelt her son's aftershave. She knew that he had stood by her door all night long again. She knew that he didn't know that she knew that he would sometimes sneak into her bedroom while she was sleeping; and just watched her sleep. Before he had lost his temper and hit her; she found comfort in the knowledge that her sweet little boy wanted to make sure his mommy was safe while his father was deployed. She always felt safer knowing that her son was looking after her. But with her nightmares, the safe feeling had completely disappeared. Until the next morning when she felt that he had been in there over came her.

Denise walked down the hallway and into the main part of the Sherwood home that the post had assigned to them when they had first transferred to the base. It wasn't as big as the Holden home; which Denise privately was happy about. She loved Claudia Joy's home and all; but she wouldn't want to be living in it 24/7. It was way too much up keep for one person; and too always have soldiers show up day or night just to talk with Frank; would be a headache. Denise was happy that Frank was a major. She walked into the kitchen and saw that the coffee pot was turned off. She had forgotten to set the timer the night before; and she knew that Jeremy had been in a rush to get back up to his room before she left her room; so she wasn't surprised that he had forgotten to make sure that the coffee pot was on and brewing. She slowly counted out the proper amount of grains that she and Jeremy would share and turned the pot on.

Soon the smells of the coffee warped through the Sherwood living, kitchen, hallway that led to the bedroom and the hallway that led to the front door. Denise was making pancakes when Jeremy walked into the living room. "Morning." She chocked out.

"Morning." Jeremy said walking into the kitchen. He walked over to where his mother was standing next to the flying pan. "How about I finish up here; and you go sit on the couch."

Denise shook her head and she stepped away from him. She didn't mean too. But her nerves were still shot from when he had pushed her against the wall. She wanted to wrap her arms around her son and hold him to her and tell him that she was doing everything in her power in order to protect him. But she couldn't. Not yet. He hadn't apologized yet. She knew he would in time. But she also knew that he was still terribly shaken up with what he had done to her. He had gone much father when he put his hand to her mouth and pushed her against the wall. That was actually also the second time that he had drawn blood. A few days after Frank was deployed and the letter to West Point came; Jeremy back handed her and accidentally cut her check with his class ring. He had bloodied her nose when he had back handed her before he quickly covered her mouth and pushed her against the wall. If Roxy hadn't come in; there was no telling how far Jeremy had gone in his anger.

Denise had managed to overcome her own shock and deep fear, and look into Jeremy's angry eyes. What she saw sadden her, and all she wanted to do was manage to pull Jeremy away from her long enough for her to slip her arms around her son so she could pull him to her, and she could comfort him and keep him safe. But than Roxy came and Jeremy was yanked away.

After Jeremy had left the house and Roxy had turned and touched her to make sure she was ok; Denise finally felt her body shake as she felt numb to what had happened with Jeremy. All she felt in that moment was her own fear of her son. Not her fear about her son, no fear on what her son had been cabal of doing to her. Fear that he would come back and finish off what he had started. She couldn't stop shaking and Roxy thankfully gathered her into her arms for a long comforting hug.

Jeremy sighed, and nodded his head, and walked out of the kitchen. He didn't go into the living room to sit on the couch. No, instead he sat down on the stool of the kitchen island, and just silently watched his mother prepare break feast for both of them. She hadn't stopped being his mother; even when he hurt her. He couldn't believe what a blessing he was to have been able to be born to Denise Sherwood. He had the best and most forgiving mother in the world. He knew that she loved him even when he hurt her physically. He knew that she would never stop loving him; no matter how much he hurt her. She understood. He bowed his head as he frowned darkly.

Denise turned from the stove after she had flipped the last pancake onto the plate that was all ready filled. She saw Jeremy with his head bowed. She wanted to walk over to him, and wrap him into her arms; but she couldn't. Not yet. Things were still very strained between them. She walked over to the island and placed the platter on the counter. "Pancakes are ready." She softly said so not to startle Jeremy.

Jeremy lifted his head. "Do you want to eat at the counter? Or at the table?" He asked.

"Whatever you prefer is fine with me." Denise said wrapping her arms across her chest.

"I say the table." Jeremy said getting off the chair. He had wanted to say counter, some of the best moments he had with his mother; had been eating at the counter side by side. They had started the tradition when he was six and his father had been deployed. His mother knew he missed his father terribly so she thought of a way to be close to her son while they ate a very special dinner without Frank there for the first time in Jeremy's young life. But he very well knew that his mother would feel very uncomfortable sitting so close to him now.

"Oh ok." Denise said disappointed that he didn't say counter. This was the first time in six months that Jeremy had asked weather to eat at the counter or the table. She missed her counter meals with Jeremy. They only had them when Frank was deployed. It was her own special time with her son. She cherished each and every one of them; because she knew that Jeremy would be old enough to leave the nest very soon. Denise knew how fast time flew by; she knew that she only had Jeremy for a very short time before he was old enough to face the world on his own.

Jeremy picked up the plate of pancakes and walked over to the table and placed it in the center of the table. He watched as his mother took her place at the table. He took his usual place but made sure to pull his chair as far away from his mother without actually leaving the table. He passed the plate over for his mother to take the first two pancakes.

"Thank you." Jeremy nodded tightly over at his mother as she passed the plate back.

"You are welcome." Denise said in a strained voice. She watched as Jeremy took the last three pancakes off the plate. He placed the plate in the middle of the table once more. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. "So what are your plans for today?" She asked for a lack of anything else to say.

"I'm going to Colonel Holden's and confess that I hit you again." Jeremy said not touching his pancakes.

Denise swallowed. "Oh?" She said softly.

"It's time I be a man and confess my wrong doings on my own." Jeremy looked into his mother's eyes. "I know you have told Mrs. Holden. If you hadn't I know that Mrs. LeBlanc has." He felt his fingers clenched and he fought hard to straighten them out. He didn't want to freak his mother out again.

"I'm going to tell Colonel Holden that I'm not going to West Point." His eye brows creased even more than they had when he had told his mother what he planned on telling Michael Holden that morning. "After he learns about my hitting you once more; than Colonel Holden will call West Point himself and strike me off the roll list."

"If you would like; I could make the call." Denise said raising her right eye brow as she looked into her son's eyes. She was proud that he was finally taking steps in the right direction. She knew that after the meeting with Michael he'll take a few days to get himself together than he would come and apologize to her.

Jeremy shook his head. "No, I'll do it at Colonel Holden's." He turned back to his plate and picked up his fork and took his first bite of his pancakes. He swallowed. "These are as good as they always were, mom." He smiled over at his mother.

Mother and son finished eating in silence. Jeremy offered to do the dishes and Denise let him because she wanted to get ready so she could go and meet up with Claudia Joy for a walk; before Claudia Joy's day became too heretic.

DRIVING TO THE PARK

Denise watched as Jeremy left the house on foot, she knew that he would be too distracted to behind the wheel that afternoon. She was quite proud of him to have the good enough common sense to realize that he was in no condition to drive a vehicle.

She just wished he had had common sense not to allow his temper to get to the point of him striking her. She knew that this would lead to major trouble, not only with Frank; when he finally learns about it. But with Michael Holden.

Denise knew that Jeremy respected Michael Holden as much as he did his own father; she also knew that Jeremy always had a thing for Amanda Holden. There is no way in hell that Michael and Claudia Joy would allow Jeremy and Amanda to be together now; not with Jeremy having an abusing past. She frowned as she watched her son walk down the street with his back straight and his head held high; she desperately wished that he didn't have to go down this rough patch in his life. She wished she had found a way to stop Jeremy from striking her that very first time.

Denise sighed and got into her car and started and backed out of the drive way. She was meeting Claudia Joy at the park for one of their private catch you uppers; that they had since they first meet eight years previous. Actually it all started sooner than that, Denise had first meet Claudia Joy after she married Frank, but than Michael got transferred and Denise and Claudia Joy had to wait till Amanda was ten and Jeremy was nine before they got stationed on the same post once more. Eight years is a long time to be at one post; but Denise so far loved this post the best; and just prayed that Frank wouldn't be transferred to a new post any time soon.

Denise slowed down and waved as a family crossed the street; her heart warmed at the site of the small children walking next to their parents. She thought back to when Jeremy was that size and age; how she missed those times. She shook her head slightly as she continued on her way. She turned left into the parks parking lot and saw that Claudia Joy was all ready there. Denise turned off the engine and got out of her car and walked slowly to join her best friend; whom was sitting at a park bench patiently waiting for her.

"Hello Denise." Claudia Joy said standing to her feet. She wanted to reach out and hug her best friend; but she could see that Denise wasn't in the mood for a hug at the moment. "Shall we?" She nodded her head in a direction for the two friends to begin their walk.

"Of course." Denise said and fell into step along side her best friend.

AT THE HOLDEN HOME

Jeremy took a deep breath as he stopped right at the end of the Holden's front driveway. He saw Colonel Holden's car in the driveway so he knew that Colonel Holden was working from home that day. He took a deep shaky breath as he willed his body to move forward. He had to tell Colonel Holden the truth; because he sure knew his mother would be confiding into Mrs. Holden about the latest attack. He didn't blame his mother; matter of fact he was quite pride of her for having the guts and courage to tell someone the truth on what he had been doing to her.

His mother will be safe from him from now on; now that people knew. It was very embarrassing on him; but he knew that he needed help to control his anger and his fear. He didn't want lash out at his mother; or anyone else for that matter ever again. He knew that Colonel Holden would be the best man to ask for the help. Jeremy was less afraid of him than he was of his father.

He had known the Holden family since he was nine. Mrs. Holden and his mother had become fast friends from the first moment they met through their husbands. Colonel Holden was just a major back than; and his own father was still a captain. Jeremy had lived at this post since he was nine; and he had made good friends with both of the Holden girls; Amanda whom was a year older than he was; and her younger sister Evelyn who was two years younger than he was. But it seemed ever since Amanda's junior year; he had lost touch with her. It was the way of life he guessed. She was off in her first year at college now; but she should be home any day now; that summer vacation was beginning.

Jeremy released his breath and took his hands out of his pockets and straightened up straight and tall once more and he marched up the driveway towards telling Colonel Holden the truth on what he had done. He was about to meet one of his worst nightmares; because just days previous Colonel Holden had told him that if he ever heard of Jeremy hitting his mother or any other woman ever again; than Colonel Holden would treat him like any other solider and beat the crap out of him. He prepared himself for the beating of a life time; that he totally deserved.

Jeremy stopped in front of the front door and took a deep breath. He knocked twice and stepped back waiting for either Colonel Holden or Evelyn to answer. He knew that Mrs. Holden was in the park with his mother. He was surprised to find that Amanda had opened the door. "Amanda, welcomed home." He said stepping backwards as she stepped out onto the porch.

"Jeremy Sherwood, this is a nice surprise." Amanda said with a slight laugh.

"I thought you wouldn't be home for another week at least." Jeremy said awkwardly as he wrapped his arms across his chest. He moved backwards until his back hit the railing. Lucky for him he didn't fall down the stairs. He didn't want to total embarrass himself in front of Amanda after all.

"I see you don't watch much news these days." Amada said with a shake of her head. She saw his look of confusion. "I was in a peace walk and I got arrested." She shrugged.

"Ouch." Was all Jeremy could think of saying. "I bet your folks were steamed."

"Dad was; but mom was pretty understanding about it." Amanda lend against the railing and smiled. "So I hear you got into West Point."

"I'm not going to go." Jeremy said with a firm nod.

"You really weren't the type for West Point." Amanda nodded. "You aren't gun ho about following in your father's footsteps." She smiled. "That's what I always admired about you Jeremy."

"Really." Jeremy lifted his eye brows. "I was going to go to West Point; I was set on it; until I learned that the only reason why I got into it was because of whom my father was." He frowned as he felt his arms tighten underneath his arm pits. He needed to calm down before he lost his temper and hurt Amanda. He wasn't going to do that; he wasn't going to do that. Jeremy took a deep breath and let his fear out of his system and he felt himself to calm down.

WALK IN THE PARK

"So how is Amanda adjusting to being back on the base?" Denise asked after ten minutes of just silent walking alongside Claudia Joy. "Or should I say how is Amanda adjusting being back under her father's roof?"

Claudia Joy just shook her head. She couldn't keep the smile off her lips. "I can never show my true feelings for what Amanda did." She stopped walking, "I don't approve of her protesting the war; but I do believe that she only went to the picket line as a peaceful walk. All she wants is to bring our soldiers home safely."

"But as a Colonel's daughter; it's not wise." Denise said with a slight shake of her head. They continued to walk in silence for a while longer. She knew that Claudia Joy didn't call her for this walk in the park to discuss Amanda. No the Amanda situation would be dealt with among her family … actually the Amanda situation will be dealt with by the entire base. No what won't be dealt with the entire base is the Jeremy situation.

"How is Jeremy doing today?" Claudia Joy asked tentative. She very well knew that no a days whenever Jeremy's name came up; anything could come out of Denise's mouth. She all ready knew about Jeremy's latest attack on Denise; Denise had told her the other day when she went to pick up Amanda from the jail with Claudia Joy. So Claudia Joy knew that Roxie knew now what Jeremy had been doing to his mother. She just prayed that Denise wouldn't say that Jeremy hit her yet again.

"Jeremy is currently at your house confessing to Michael on what he had done." Denise said as she turned to face Claudia Joy.

"Oh." Claudia Joy couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice.

Denise turned her face back in front of her and she continued to walk silently. She didn't realize that her pace had picked up and that Claudia Joy was walking silently at the same pace as she had been behind her.

Claudia Joy watched as Denise walked ahead of her. She wanted to pick up her own pace so she could be walking by the side of her best friend once more; but she felt that Denise needed a little space; so she kept her pace. But when Denise stopped and just was staring out in front of her; Claudia Joy had no choice but to catch up to her friend and stand next to her silently.

"Why did you say 'Oh' with such surprise?" Denise asked without turning to face Claudia Joy.

"I didn't mean to." Claudia Joy said with a tilt of her head.

"Yes you did." Denise said with a frown as she turned and glanced at Claudia Joy before she turned her face away.

"What's really brothering you Denise?" Claudia Joy asked as she placed a hand on Denise's shoulder. She was thrown and sadden when Denise shrugged it off. "I'm here for you, you know that don't you Denise?"

TELLING COLONEL HOLDEN THE TRUTH

Jeremy stood to his feet once more. "Is your father home?" He hated to break up his very interesting conversion. He had heard about Amanda being at the peaceful walking peace rally to bring the troops home safely. He also heard that she was arrested and the entire base knowing about it; on account of it being on every news broadcast. He also knew that her parents were pretty pissed off with her; especially her father.

"He's in his study." Amanda said nodding towards the front door. "Go right in." She said as she watched Jeremy head to the front door.

Before Jeremy opened the front door he turned back to Amanda. "It was nice to see you again, Amanda. We need to catch up sometime."

"Anytime would be great for me." Amanda smiled.

Jeremy blushed as he turned back and opened the front door. His good feelings went away once the door closed behind him. He took a deep breath as he started across the front entrance and past the Holden's living room. He paused before the open door to Colonel Holden's open study door. He saw him behind his desk looking over some paper work. Jeremy was actually relieved that Colonel Holden was in civilization clothing. But it still makes Jeremy uneasy; even in civilization clothing Colonel Michael Holden was a force to be face to face too. Which you wouldn't want to be. But sadly in which Jeremy had officially placed himself in; since the first moment he had hit his mother.

Jeremy took a deep breath and lifted his hand and knocked it twice on the door. "Sir, may I speak to you, sir?" He asked respectfully.

Michael lifted his head and saw Jeremy looking uncomfortable at him. He stood to his feet. "Come in Jeremy." He walked around his desk and walked up to Frank Sherwood's only soon and shook hands firmly with the boy. "Take a sit." He nodded to the chair that was closets to his desk. He watched as Jeremy took an uncomfortable seat before he walked back around the desk to his own chair. "Now what can I do for you?" He folded his hands over the closed file that he had been looking at before Jeremy came in.

"I'm not going to West Point, sir." Jeremy said.

Michael raised his eye brows. "Oh." He truly wasn't surprised to hear this. Denise had told him and Claudia Joy; that the only reason why Jeremy had hit her was because he was afraid. He didn't want the army life; no he just wanted to live a civilization life. Off the base. Michael could understand and respect Jeremy's decision; it was his decision after all; but Michael couldn't respect or easily forgive Jeremy's way of not going to West Point; Jeremy had no business what so ever on hitting his mother.

"I hit my mother again, sir." Jeremy said looking Michael straight in the eyes.

Michael stood to his feet, he rushed around the desk and he pulled Jeremy up by his shirt front. He pushed Jeremy against the wall, hard. "I told you what I would do to you if you hit your mother again."

"Sir, yes sir, sir." Jeremy said in a shaky voice. "You said you would wipe the floor with my face."

Michael breathed deeply; and than he stood back and let Jeremy's alone. "Sit down." He ordered as he moved backwards as he got his temper under control again. He watched as Jeremy moved around him and sat back down in his chair.

Michael walked around and sat at the end of his desk in front of Jeremy. "Jeremy the only reason why I didn't beat you until your senses came back to you; is because I admire your father very much. I also love your mother very much; it would crush her if I treated you just as I would if I found out any of my soldiers have hit a woman."

"My mother would have forgiven you sir." Jeremy said. "She knows that I came over here; and I told her what you said to me when she first told you about my hitting her." He felt his hands shake and he wrapped his hands on the end of the couch. "I have told my mother that I was coming here today; and confessing to you."

"And why did you feel the urge to confess?" Michael wrapped his arms across his chest.

"I know that my mother told Mrs. Holden the other day, sir." Jeremy said truthfully.

"Would you have come to me if Denise hadn't confided in Claudia Joy?" Michael frowned deeply.

"Yes sir." Jeremy looked straight into Michael's eyes.

Michael read the truth in them. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt my mother ever again, sir. It just kills me that I have hurt her in the past. Not just her heart breaking over my stupid mistakes in life, but actually physically hurting her." Jeremy took a deep breath. "She has nightmares about me."

Michael kept his mouth shut and allowed Jeremy to get everything off his chest.

Jeremy continued when he saw that Colonel Holden wasn't going to interrupt. "I need help sir; I need help dealing with my anger issues, and my deep fear. So I don't hurt my mother ever again. Please help me sir." He looked up with tears in his eyes.

"I will help you, Jeremy; I know that you have a good soul inside you. I have seen it while you were growing up. But I also know that you have a temper in you; I have seen it come out a few times as you were growing up." Michael shook his head. "But I would have never dreamt that you would hit your mother; or anyone else for that matter. Besides the basic school boy fights of course. But your father handed those himself."

Jeremy thought back to the lectures that his father always handed out whenever he had gotten into a fight. The memories were bitter for him because; his father couldn't just be a father to him in these times; no Frank had to be the Captain or the Major and order Jeremy around as if Jeremy was one of Frank's soldiers.

"I would never have dreamed that I would ever hit my mother, either sir." Jeremy said.

"I will help you son, but it's going to be a long and hard road ahead of you." Michael said. He stood to his feet and walked back around his desk and sat back in his chair. "The first step is yours; you must tell your father what you did."

Jeremy lifted his left hand where his class ring was on his finger and he brought his mouth to it so he could bite his hand. He knew what Michael said was the truth. He had to tell his father what he had done; he all ready knew that his mother never would. He knew that if he didn't at a timely rate, than Michael would be force to tell his father.

Michael silently watched as the emotions played out on Jeremy's face. He knew that Jeremy would be a man and confess to his father at the earliest time on what he did. But he also knew that Jeremy would wait until his father returned home from his deployment.

TRYING TO BREAK THROUGH

Denise didn't answer. She looked passed Claudia Joy to where the pond was. She couldn't get the dream out of her head.

Oddly Claudia Joy didn't notice the pictures, she didn't notice anything expect for Denise. Claudia Joy suddenly stopped and turned to Denise and roughly took Denise's hand which had the latest bruise on it. "Who gave you this bruise, Denise? Frank?" Her voice hardens and her face turned dark.

"What? No! Of course not." Denise said shocked that Claudia Joy would even think that Frank would hurt her.

"Than whom fucking hurt you, Denise?" Claudia Joy demanded.

"No one." Denise said with a shake of her head. "Like I said earlier; I lifted someone the wrong way is all."

"And like I said in reply, Denise, you haven't been a nurse for twelve years." Claudia Joy's hand tightens into Denise's hand.

"You don't know everything I do, Claudia Joy." Denise said trying to yank back her hand. She blinked as the pain hit her. "You are hurting me, Claudia Joy." She whispered.

Before Claudia Joy could move Roxy was suddenly there pulling Claudia Joy away from her and slugging her in the stomach. "Leave Denise alone, damn you." Roxy turned around to face Denise. "Why didn't lay her flat? I thought you how to defend yourself for crying out loud. So do it damn it."

"I'm sorry." Denise murmured as she fell to the floor weeping.

Denise felt arms around her and she freaked out. She started to struggle hopelessly. She tried to swing her arms so she could do the moves that Roxy had taught her; but the arms just tighten around her. "Let me go, please. Just let me go." She whispered.

"It's only me, Claudia Joy, Denise." Claudia Joy said in a clam voice; although she was deeply shaken by Denise trying to get out of her arms; and how scared her voice was as she begged to let go.

Denise stopped struggling as her eyes forced once more and she realized that she was still in the park with Claudia Joy. Whose arms were currently around her. "What?"

"You were shaking pretty badly; I should have said something before I wrapped my arms around you." Claudia Joy said. She took her arms from her best friend and stepped back. She didn't want to; but she felt Denise's fear so she had to give Denise her personal space once more.

"I was fine, just fine." Denise wrapped her arms tightly around her chest as she frowned at her friend.

"You didn't seem fine." Claudia Joy said.

"Well I was." Denise said. She shook her head to clear it form her nightmare. She took a deep breath. "I'm fine. Truly Claudia Joy, I'm fine. Better than I was since Jeremy first hit me."

Claudia Joy tilted her head.

"Jeremy went to your house to confess to Michael that he attacked me once again." Denise said. "He's taking the first step on getting help for his anger problems on his own." She said unwrapping her arms from her chest. She faced forward again and began to walk once more. She was glad that this section of the park was empty; because she didn't want the base gossips to know that she freaked out on Claudia Joy.

Claudia Joy fell into step next to Denise. "You know that Michael is going to tell Jeremy that he has to tell his father."

"Of course. Jeremy isn't under any disillusion that Frank would still be kept in the dark. Not with Michael knowing. That is one of the reasons why Jeremy went to confess to Michael. He knows that once he has faced up to Michael Holden over hitting me; than he can face his father with the truth." Denise said.

But before either of the women could say anything else; Denise was blindsided by a small hands around her waist. She back peddled a few paces before she managed to catch herself before falling backwards. She looked down to find young Fin LeBlanc hugging her waist and smiling happily up at her. "Why hey there Fin." She laughed gently as she wrapped her arms around his small body to return the hug that the six year old boy was giving her.

"Fin LeBlanc!" Roxy said rushing up to the two women and her young son. "You know better than this." She looked up into Denise's eyes. "I'm so sorry Denise; Fin just loves to hug people he's most comfortable with. Even if the person isn't expecting it."

"Hello Mrs. Sherwood and Mrs. Holden." T.J. said stopping next to his mother. He rolled his eyes at his younger brother. But he could also see that Mrs. Sherwood didn't mind Fin being all over her. He always knew that Mrs. Sherwood would be most open to this form of greeting than Mrs. Holden. Only because T.J. knew that Mrs. Sherwood had a son herself; so he was pretty sure that her son had behaved just like Fin did when he was younger.

"Hello T.J." Claudia Joy said with a smile.

"How are you doing T.J.?" Denise asked as Fin untangled himself from her. But she felt the little boy take her hand into his. She wrapped her hand around his little one just enjoying having a small boy's hand in her own. It reminded her of when Jeremy was six. He always used to love holding her hand, and he also loved to rush up and hug her for no reason expect just seeing her.

Pamela walked up with her two children at her side and shook her head. "I see that you got the famous Fin hug, Denise."

Denise laughed gently. "I see you are a well hand of it yourself."

"So am I." Katie said as she smiled openly.

"If Fin tires it with me than I just deck him." Lucas said.

"You don't hit my brother." T.J. rushed at Lucas; but before he could lay one single finger on the boy; his mother lifted him away.

"Thomas Jack LeBlanc how dare you try to hit another person." Roxy knelt down to be eye level with her oldest boy. "You know better young man."

T.J. looked into his mother eyes and read the fear and concern in them. "He threaten to hurt my brother, mom. I had to defend Fin; he's just a baby after all."

"I am not." Fin shouted out; but he didn't let go of Denise's hand. He just felt that Mrs. Sherwood needed to hold a hand of a six year old boy. He was pleased as punch to be that little boy.

"You do not have to beat anyone up to defend your bother, T.J." Roxy said. "Use your words."

"So I can use colorful words." T.J. said gleefully.

"If you do than you are grounded till the cows come home. Matter of fact your great grandchildren will be grounded." Roxy shook her head.

"I was just kidding mommy. I promise I won't use my fists to teach people not to pick on Fin. I'll use my word. The proper words." T.J. promised his mother. He crossed his heart and hoped to die.

Roxy sighed and stood to her feet.

Claudia Joy had kept her eyes on Denise's face as she watched and listened closely to how Roxy handed the situation with her son. She knew that Denise wished she could turn back time so she could make sure that Jeremy understood the he could not use his fists. That calm words had more power than fists. But sadly life didn't work out that way. You deal with what life hands you.

And life currently has handed Denise a raw deal.

END CHAPTER THREE


	4. Trying To Make Things Right

THE PARK

Jeremy walked home slowly as his mind was filled with what Michael Holden had told him. He knew that he was in a boat load of shit when his father returned from the war. He very well knew that his father would be extremely angry with him; and extremely hurt over what Jeremy did to Denise. But there was no way to sugar coat it; Jeremy had to be the man he was opposed to be come and face up to his terrible mistake. But first he had to find a way to apologize to his mother and prove to her that he would never hurt her again.

Jeremy's head lifted and his steps slowed as he suddenly heard his mother laughing, he hadn't heard her genuine laugh in months. Not since he started hurting her. He stopped his feet from moving from the spot and he turned around slowly and just watched as his mother was chasing young T.J. and Fin Le Blanc around the grass. His eyes lit up as he watched his mother truly enjoy herself playing with small boys once more. He remembered countless times in his childhood when his mother had chased him around the parks of the posts that the Sherwood family had been assigned too; always it seemed whenever his father was too busy with his assignments to spend any time with his family; which quite frankly was too many to count.

He tucked his hands in his back pockets of his tan khakis as he enjoyed watching his mother quite enjoy herself. He laughed gently as T.J. tagged her making her it. He wanted to shout out encouragements to his mother so she knew that he was cheering her on catching one of the young boys to make him it; but he remembered himself just in time and he just whispered "Go on mom you can do it, you can catch those little pups." When she managed to tag Fin he laughed in delight.

Fin saw Jeremy standing on the side lines and he knew that the older boy was just waited to be tagged so he could join in on the game, so Fin did what he knew he had to do and he ran full speed towards Jeremy and put his right hand out and tagged Jeremy. "You're it, you're it." He turned and started racing back to his brother and Mrs. Sherwood. "Can't catch me," He laughed as he looked back over his shoulder at Jeremy who was giving chase towards him.

"Hey mom." Jeremy said with a smile as he passed her in his chase of young Fin. "Be back in a sec." But he wasn't counting on T.J. to make it impossible for him to tag Fin back. He had Fin at his finger tips when he felt his side being shouldered and he fell to the side and rolled over a few times on the grass ending up with a mouth full of freshly mowed grass. He looked up to see the two Le Blanc boys standing at his side laughing. "Ummmm who's it again?" Jeremy asked.

"You are." T.J. Said backing away from the older boy and he put his arm on Fin's shoulder and made his younger brother to back up along side him. He was no fool; he knew the moment Jeremy moved he would tag both him and Fin causing them to be it. Well T.J. would out wit him.

Jeremy slowly sat up so he was on his hands and knees and he just watched as the two younger boys back away until they had backed themselves in front of his mother; he slowly moved forward at a crawl and grinned as his mother quickly moved the boys behind her back and with a raised look of her eye brows saying with her eyes, "You can't have 'em, you have to go through me first," Jeremy slowly stood to his feet and walked over to his mother and raised his hands high. "I the shepherd hereby turn myself over to the Queen of tag and beg for her just and merciful mercy." He lowered his arms and knelt on his knees and bowed his head in front of his mother.

Denise laid her hands onto of her son's hand and said. "I accept the shepherd in his defeat and grant him to be my loyal servant for the rest of his life time." She softly said with tears in her eyes. She looked deep into her son's eyes as he lifted his face to look up into her eyes.

"Mrs. Sherwood that's not how you end the game of "tag"." Fin said with confusion in his face as he moved around Denise's back and looked first at Jeremy than at her and than over at T.J.

"That's how we end the game." Denise said finally breaking eye contact with her son so she could look down at Fin. "When Jeremy was just a small boy; smaller than you are now Fin; we used to play tag. Well Jeremy always loved the story about the shepherd in the Bible so he always was the shepherd when he turned himself over to me."

Jeremy stood to his feet. "My mother is the Queen of my world and every world that I can think off; so it was only fitting to call her Queen." He continued on the explanation to young Fin and T.J.

"Cool." T.J. said with a laugh. "So do you two want to play another round?"

Jeremy could tell how tired his mother truly was. He offered his arm for her to take and was relieved that she took it. He placed his free hand over hers and shook his head. "Not this time lads; but you can bet that my mother and I will be playing tag with you again before school begins again." He said with a smile. He walked along side his mother to where Claudia Joy, Pamela and Roxy had been standing watching the game of tag.

"Well that sure looked like a lot of hard and hot work." Pamela said with a laugh as the group rejoined them.

"I wanted to play also." Luke said wrapping his arms around his chest and jetted his chin out.

"Hush now Lu." Katie said rapping her brother's arm gently. "You know that T.J. and Fin just wanted to play especially with Mrs. Sherwood. We can play another time."

"But it ain't fair." Luke shook his head.

Pamela put her hand on her son's right shoulder, and looked down at her son with a no non sense frown on her face. "We'll talk about this later young man." Her eyes spoke volumes.

Luke Moran just sighed and rolled his eyes.

"So did you and Mrs. Holden have a good talk?" Jeremy softly said in his mother's ear as the group was talking among themselves. "Actually when did the gang join you two?"

"We had a very nice discussion, Jeremy, and the gang joined us when the time was right." Denise said turning to face her son head on. "Did you have the talk with Michael?" She held her breath as she waited to see her son's reaction and hear his answer.

Jeremy sighed deeply and not realizing that his hand gripped his mother's arm almost in a deaf gripe. "Colonel Holden told me to be the man and tell dad." He said softly as he felt hot tears at the corner of his eyes.

"Are you surprised?" Denise asked as she fought the fear in her heart over how Jeremy was holding onto her arm; but she knew that this death grip of his wasn't the same as when he was hurting her in his anger and fear, no this death grip was his fear speaking, and that he just wanted his mommy to comfort and protect him. She placed her hand over Jeremy's.

Jeremy realized how tightly his grip on his mother's arm was, and he quickly let her arm go, and backed away from her. "I'm sorry mom … I wasn't thinking. I have to go." With one last agony look in his mother's eyes that he couldn't read correctly; but he thought her read correctly he turned on his heel and walked quickly away with his head down.

Denise watched her son walk away from her with his head down and all she wanted to do was rush after him and gather him into her arms and she could comfort him and love him. His eyes never left her memory and she knew that she would never forget the fear, self loathing and the self hatred she saw in them before he had turned away from her. She raised her right hand and wiped the tear that fell from her right eye and before she could left her left hand to do the same to her left eye she felt a small hand slip into her hand and hold on tightly. She looked down into the upturned compassion filled face of six year old Fin Le Blanc

AT THE SHERWOOD HOME

Jeremy looked up when he heard the front door open and saw his mother walk in. He got to his feet quickly and looked wildly around. He moved forward and than he paused and than he moved back wards and than he stopped. He moved to the right and than changed his mind and moved to the left.

"Sit back down, Jeremy, you don't have to be afraid. I won't bite." Denise softly said as she watched her son try to escape but not knowing how too.

Jeremy stopped dead in his tracks and stared wide eyed at his mother. "That's not funny."

"It used to be." Denise said softly as she moved around to sit down on the couch. She waved her hand to where Jeremy had been sitting. "Sit down. Please."

Jeremy sat down nervously, and stared straight ahead of him.

"Why is this so hard? It used to be so easy between us." Denise softy sighed. She turned her face so she could face her only son. Her only child. "When have you stopped trusting me to try to at least chase away your fears? When had you grown up to be your own man?"

"I'm not my own man." Jeremy said in a tight voice as he tried to keep at bay the sobs that were trying to force their way up past the lump in his thoart. "I'm just a scared little boy who wants his mommy but trying to prove that he's able to handle things on his own."

Denise placed a hand close to her son but not actually touching him. "No one in the entire world need to handle their issues on their own. It's just not possible. Everyone needs someone in their lives. Need it be their mother, father, sibling, friend, lover. That's the way humans are, they need constant contact with another human being.:"

"I don't deserve it." Jeremy said turning to look at his mother, which he couldn't do because of the tears that were shinning in his eyes. "What I did to you mom was unex..." he couldn't go on because he finally couldn't swallow around the lump in his thoart.

Denise did the only thing that she could do; she moved over, and quickly wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders, and pulled him into a tight motherly bear hug. She placed several kisses on his left eye bone. She began to softly hum the lull bye that she sung when he was just a little boy.

Jeremy pulled away, and gently moved away from his mother, he stood to his feet and rushed from the house. Denise sadly watched him go, and knew that he wasn't ready to accept forgiveness for hurting her.

END CHAPTER FOUR


	5. Counceling Session Number One

TELLING JEREMY THE PLAN OF ACTION

Denise walked into Jeremy's room without knocking, the door was opened anyway. She walked over to where his desk chair was and took a seat. She looked at her son whom was laying on his back and his face was staring up at the ceiling. She knew that he was lost in thought because he hadn't heard her come in.

He had returned from where ever he had disappeared too that afternoon, past his cure few. He had just given her a shift nod before he headed up the stairs that led to his bedroom. Denise was bound to talk to him that night about what was going to happen between them. So she had gotten up from the chair and slowly walked towards his bedroom. Now she simply just watched him silently.

How to start? With a deep breath, "Jer -" She closed her mouth as Jeremy jerked up quickly and turned wide eyed at her. Oh how she wanted to lean over and put her arms around her son and pull him to her to hug away the fear that was in his eyes. But she didn't, she just remained where she was sitting.

"M-mom, I didn't hear you come in." Jeremy chocked out. He swung his feet around so he was sitting straight up. He lifted his hands and ran them quickly at the back of his head to smooth down his hair. He knew his mother hated messy hair.

"I'm sorry to have started you," Denise said. "You door was opened so I figured it was ok to come in."

"Of course." Jeremy said quickly. He tilted his head. "Did you need me to do something for you?"

Denise shook her head. "No. I came in here to tell you that you and I will be going to counseling sessions with Roland." She locked eyes firmly with her son. "I trust Roland."

Jeremy nodded his head. "I do also." He frowned and lowered his eyes. "I'm just ashamed that another person is going to know what I did to you." He lifted his head. "I'm ashamed that I hurt you mom." Tears glistened in his eyes as he looked at his mother and than quickly lowered his head. "Oh God what have I become?"

"You can't live in regrets, son, you can only learn from them. You must also never repeat your regrets." Denise said in a steady voice.

Jeremy raised his eyes. "I understand." He took a deep breath. "When is our first session?"

"Tomower at nine am." Denise stood to her feet and she walked to the door. She paused and turned around, "Why were you late?"

"I was hoping that you would be in your bedroom, by the time I came back home." Jeremy said looking steading into his mother's eyes. He had gotten to his feet the moment his mother stood up. He had put his hands in the back pockets of his pants as his mother was walking from the door. "I couldn't face you."

"You should have known that I would have stayed up waiting for you. Make sure that you got home safely." Denise replied wrapping her arms across her waist. "I love you Jeremy. Not matter how much you hurt me, I'll always love you. You can't do anything to make me stop loving you."

Jeremy raised his eye brows. "Expect if I became a monster," He sighed deeply.

"You aren't a monster." Denise said softly. "You just allowed your fear to overcome you." She looked at her son. "You will finally learn how to overcome your fear and too feel comfortable about talking openly about your fears."

Jeremy sighed and bowed his head.

"Please, while you remain underneath this roof, be on time for your cure few." Denise said in her best firm mother's tone. "Even if you decide to remain with me next fall, I expect you to be home at a decent hour." With that she turned and left the room.

Jeremy looked up in surprise. He knew that his mother would never kick him out of the house, at least not now. He was still seventeen, he didn't turn eighteen until the middle of August. But she still welcomed him in her house after his eighteenth birthday surprised him. He honestly thought that he was going to have to move all his stuff out once he started West Point. He felt tears fall onto his checks.

COUNCELING SESSION NUMBER ONE

"Doctor Burton can see you now," A young bored looking man said walking into the waiting room and spotting Denise and Jeremy. "This way." He turned and led the way to Roland's office. He very well knew that both of them knew exactly where the office was, but it was part of his job to show Doctor Burton's patients to the office. Even if they were close and personal friends of his.

He knocked on the door and on Roland's "enter" he opened the door, "Your nine o'clock are here, Doctor Burton." He said standing at attention and allowing Denise and Jeremy to pass him in the room.

"Thank you, Walter." Roland said with a tight nod at him. He nodded and marched out of the room closing the door behind him. He went back to his desk, he had important work to do after all.

Roland had risen from his chair as soon as his door had opened, he waved his hands at the two chairs that were set up opposite his desk. "Take a seat, please." He watched as Jeremy held the back of the chair that Denise took a seat in. He didn't miss Jeremy's hands start to reach over to rest on his mother's shoulders but pause when they were a hair breath away. He was as Jeremy pulled away quickly and walked around the empty chair and sat down in it. He sat straight and tall. As a major son's should be. Roland took his seat once more and leaned forward and picked up his pencil.

"I want you two to know, that no matter what is said in this closed room. Oh anywhere else we decided to hold these sessions, that no one will ever know." Roland tapped his pencil and looked Jeremy in the eyes and than over at Denise, "I won't even tape or take notes of these sessions. It will be as if you have never come to see me."

Denise looked over at Jeremy and they both nodded. She turned and looked Roland in the eyes once more, "Treat us as you would anyone else, Roland. No special treatment."

Roland was pleased with that answer, he was more pleased to see the same thing in Jeremy's eyes. He reached over and grabbed his tape recorder, "As you wish." He said and he pushed the record button. "What I like to do in the first session is telling what is going to be taking place," He began.

"Don't we just talk, sir?" Jeremy asked in a tight uncomfortable voice. He cleared his thoart deeply.

"Yes, Jeremy, you do talk." Roland said with a nod. "But you also do 'trust' excises."

"Like we fall backwards into each other's arms?" Denise asked.

Roland nodded, "Yes, also you will be role playing, write letters to one another."

"What do you mean role playing, Doctor Burton?" Jeremy asked, his eyes went to his mother than quickly slid away. "I don't think my mother and I need to role play. But I do like the falling backwards into each others arms and the letter writing excises that you have mentioned."

Denise turned in her chair and gently took her son's hand in her own. Jeremy turned to face his mother in surprise. She covered his hand with her free hand, "Jer, I don't mind role playing. I have a feeling that it will help us." She said looking deeply into his eyes. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid, mom. At least not for myself. I'm just afraid for you." Jeremy softly said. Mother and son forgot that they were in Roland's office and that he was recording them.

"Why?" Denise gently asked.

"I don't want you to have to go to the place that I was, when I hurt you." Jeremy said with tears shining in his eyes. "It's the most terrifying place that you can ever go." He shook his head. "I don't want you there."

"How can I help you fully, if I don't go there?" Denise asked as she leaned forward and lifted a hand to gently wipe away her son's tears on his right check. "I need to do this, I want to do this." She whispered.

Jeremy silently allowed his mother to wipe away his tears with her one hand. He couldn't believe how much love his mother was showing him right at this moment. She would willing go into insanity to help him even he had physically and mentally hurt her. That was unconditional love if there is any such thing.

Denise saw that Jeremy wasn't going to fight her on this so she finally sat back and turned to face Roland once more.

"I can delete this." Roland said pointing to the tape.

"No, leave it." Jeremy said. "It's important development for us." He turned and saw his mother nod. He turned back to face Roland, "What else are you going to have us do, Doctor Burton?"

"To begin with, none of this Doctor Burton, from either of this, I'm just Roland." Roland said with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Jeremy asked tilting his head. "Aren't you apposed to be professional?"

"In every case, I am. Expect when my close friends come to me." Roland answered.

"Besides my mother, whom else has come to you?" Jeremy asked folding his arms across his chest.

"Jeremy!" Denise said shocked.

Jeremy blushed, "I'm sorry Doctor B ... Roland ... I'm just being defensive. I don't like being forced to share my feelings or my anger issues." His right hand went to his head and he quickly pushed back his hair, it was his nerves habit. He realized what he was doing and where he was, he quickly lowered his hand back to his lap.

"That's why you are here, Jeremy, to deal with your anger issues." Roland said in a calm voice looking steadily in the seventeen year old boy's eyes.

Jeremy ran his hands down his tan cargo pants and nodded his head tightly, "You are right, I'm here for some serious anger management and the sooner I realize that you and mom truly want to help me the better I'll be." He kept his eyes firmly on Roland, "I'm Major Franklin Sherwood's son, and I don't share my emotions. Not like a woman."

Denise sighed softly to her self knew that her son spoke the truth. She saw Roland nod in understanding.

"One last thing, before you leave." Roland said seeing that the hour was almost up from the clock that he had placed behind the two chairs, just for moments as these. "I will be hypnotizing both of you also."

Jeremy sat forward quickly. "Why do you have to hypnotize my mother? She doesn't have any hidden issues that she needs to to be hypnotize for."

Roland looked at Jeremy than over at Denise. He spoke directly at Denise. "In order for you to fully understand, Jeremy's fear you will have to be hypnotize so I can use hypnosis's thoughts on you."

"Than forget it." Jeremy said standing to his feet, and shook his head firmly as he turned and looked down at his mother. "I'm not going to allow you to do this, mom, there has to be another way for us to get passed this."

Denise stood to her feet also and turned and faced her son, "Jeremy, we are going to do this. Roland is going to help us. He will hypnotize me when the time is right and not before." She felt her fists clench the way that Roxy had shown her in their first boxing matches.

Jeremy swallowed around the lump in his thoart, "I'm sorry mom." He turned to Roland, "I'm sorry Roland. You two are right." He nodded. "We'll do it your way." He turned back to face his mother, "But mom the moment that I see that you can't handle this, than I'm putting a stop to it. And that's final."

"You are so much like your father, stubborn and must have your own way." Denise said looking into her grown son's eyes. "But I'm still your mother, Jeremy, so we will discuss it if it comes to that point."

Jeremy's chin jetted out and he wrapped his arms across his chest.

Roland watched and waited. The hour had expired ten minutes ago, but he wasn't going to hurry them along. He was relieved that he had told Walter that he wasn't too come knocking on his office door until after Denise and Jeremy left.

"So how's those boxing lessons of yours and Mrs. Le Blanc?" Jeremy asked.

"We only had one so far, but we are going to go the gym later this afternoon." Denise replied.

Jeremy bit his lip. "I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this, mom. If I could go back in time than I would never have hurt you."

"You can't change the past. And Jeremy, you can not live in regret." Denise said. "What's it going to be, Jeremy, do you want to get healthy or don't you?"

"If I chose to walk out the door and never come back, what will you do?" Jeremy asked.

"Once you turn eighteen, son, I'll kick you out of the house and change the locks." Denise firmly said.

Jeremy sighed, and took a deep breath. "I'll continue with the counseling sessions." He said finally.

"No matter what." Denise said raising her right eye brow.

Jeremy sighed, "No matter what. God help." He whispered in the end.

Roland switched off the recorder and stood to his feet, "Than I would like to set up the counseling sessions now."

Denise and Jeremy turned back to face Roland. "How many sessions do you think we need at first?" Jeremy asked.

"I would say twice a week in the beginning." Roland said and quickly flipped open his day planner and the three of them planned out the rest of the summer. Roland shook hands firmly with Jeremy and than winked as he shook hands with Denise. He watched them leave his office, and he sat back down as he removed the tape from the recorder. He turned around and opened up his safe and put the tape and the notes that he had made during the session inside. He shut the safe and turned back to his desk to see whom else he needed to see that day.

END CHAPTER FIVE


	6. Boxing Lesson Number Two

Roxy turned around in mid stretch as she felt Denise walk towards her. She didn't fully like what she read in the older woman's face. But, inwardly she knew not to be outspoken about it. Denise would tell her when she was ready. Roxy was just here to teach her how to become stronger, not only up against her own son, but against the world. "Hey, missy, you best get to stretching because you are going to have a workout today."

Denise started in on her stretching excises. "I want to thank you again, Roxy, not only for the boxing lessons. But also for showing up at the house that night." She shook her head with a far off look on her face. "If it hadn't been your quick action, I don't know how far, Jeremy's anger would have taken him."

Roxy silently watched as Denise bent over to stretch her back. She got into her own position and she stretched facing the other woman's shoes. "Who else knows?" She finally asked.

Denise sighed, "I finally told Claudia Joy and Michael. Two days before Jeremy's anger got the better of him." She stretched even more out. She felt the tense began to ease from her back. "Michael went to Jeremy at the park, Jeremy was angry that I finally told someone." She sat down and crossed her legs, she saw that Roxy followed suit. "But, that didn't set his anger off truly." She tilted her head to her right side to begin to stretch her neck out. "Frank, he told Jeremy that he was going to West Point no matter what. Jeremy thought that I wasn't on his side." Her head began to slowly turn as she felt her muscles ease.

Roxy did her own excises and kept in time with Denise. She just silently listened as Denise unloaded some of the angst that had been her life.

Denise finally finished with her head and she looked Roxy straight in the eyes. "Jeremy isn't truly an angry person, Roxy." She softly said. "It's just Jeremy is scared to death to be in the army. He's scared to death that if he actually joined the troops, than he could very well could be maimed or killed. Jeremy loves life so much; he just wants a chance at it."

Roxy stood to her feet and held out her hand. Denise silently took the offered hand, and allowed the younger woman to help her, to her feet. She kept the hand in hers. She needed this contact. Just for a moment. She finally let it go and stepped back. "Ok, what's the first move you are going to teach me, today?"

HOLDEN HOME

Michael looked out of the window and found Jeremy pacing up and down the driveway. He sighed deeply as he watched the boy, whom was not yet a man, trying to decide what to do. He was very angry with Jeremy Sherwood, but he still cared about the young man whom had always seemed like a son to him. He had been around Jeremy in the nine years, more than Frank, Jeremy's father had. Frank had been deployed more times than Michael since they had met. The first four years Michael had been deployed, but they were mostly short deployments. The most he had been away from his family, since Amanda was born was a year and a half. When he had gotten promoted and was told that his main duty to the army than on was to be on the base. He was silently relieved. He would be able to stay home with his family. But Frank, he was still needed on the front lines, so Frank never tried to use his connection with Michael, for a base promotion. That meant Frank was away from his family more.

At first, Michael had taken Jeremy under wing, just for Frank's shake. To allow the boy to have a father figure, while his own father was off trying to protect the world. But it quickly turned into Michael truly starting to love Jeremy as his own son. So it had broken his heart and soul when Denise told Claudia Joy and him that Jeremy had been hitting her. His anger was truly that of a father's anger towards his son.

Michael silently watched as Amanda walked around the corner of the house and got into a conversion with Jeremy. He frowned, he didn't like the fact that his daughter was talking to a mother abuser. But, he watched as Jeremy backed away and shook his head. He could see the fear in the boy's eyes as he turned and walked down the walk. He sighed, Amanda turned around and saw him staring sat her; she frowned darkly and headed towards the house.

"Dad!" Amanda said in anger as she stormed into the office. "What the hell have you done to Jeremy? My God, I have never seen him so freaked out about visiting us before."

"I didn't do anything, Amanda." Michael said turning around to face his first born daughter. He folded his arms across his chest.

"Than why is Jeremy looking like a deer caught in headlights?" Amanda demanded as she also wrapped her arms across her chest and jetted out her chin.

"It's personal." Michael said. "Amanda, I don't want you or your sister to be around Jeremy right now."

Amanda eyes bugged out of her sockets. "What the hell, Dad, its Jeremy. He's like your son, like a brother ..." She shook her head. "He's one of my best friends, and if I want to see him than I will."

"No Amanda," Michael said in a firm voice. "I'm your father, and I tell you that for the time being you and your sister are to leave Jeremy Sherwood, alone."

"Hell to you." Amanda breathed in deeply.

"That's enough, Amanda." Michael said with a dark frown on his face.

Claudia Joy walked quickly into the room, she had entered the Holden home from the garden and heard the loud voice of her daughter, she rushed to her husband's office and found them in a heated battle. "What's going on?"

"Dad is ordering me to stay away from Jeremy," Amanda said turning her rough eyes onto her mother.

"I'm with your father on this, Amanda. You and your sister need to stay away from Jeremy." Claudia Joy said looking her daughter straight in the eyes.

"To hell with this bull shit. Why am I suddenly being ordered to give up one of my friends?" Amanda stormed.

"Because we as your parents say so." Claudia Joy said in a patient voice. "It's only for a short time, Amanda."

Amanda backed away and turned and stormed from the room. Michael and Claudia Joy soon heard the front door slam shut.

"Should we inform her on what's been going on?" Michael looked over at his wife with questions in his eyes.

Claudia Joy shook her head. "We promised Denise that we wouldn't say anything. That means Amanda." She sighed deeply. "We'll just keep a closer eye on this situation is all, if it gets too serious than we'll have to tell her. "

THE GYM

Denise had worked up quiet a sweat. Breathing heavily she looked at Roxy, whom was toweling off. "I hope you don't have to be anywhere right now, Rox." She stretched her arms. "I can go for a while yet."

"Pamela said that her kids want my boys for a long time today." Roxy said with a smile. Laughter lines around her eyes. "I owe her big time for this, but she claims that she likes having four children underfoot. Three of them boys. But she said Katie can keep her own." She walked back over to stand across from Denise.

"Anytime you and Pamela would like a child free day, please bring the kids to my home." Denise said with smile. "I personally would love a houseful of kids."

"Why didn't you have more kids?" Roxy asked tilting her head to the right side.

"I wanted too, but Frank felt guilty leaving me and Jeremy behind. He felt more children would be an add burden on me." Denise said with clouded eyes. She shook her head. "It's for the best."

"Not for you." Roxy said in a straight forward manner. She was about to say more; but she just shook her head.

"You can't change the past. Jeremy will get married and have children." Denise said. She looked at Roxy. "What's the next move you want to show me?" She didn't want to talk about her lack of children, not now; not ever. It was just too painful. She had learned to put it in the past.

Roxy began to quickly show her a new judo move. Denise began to work her body in the same motions that Roxy had showed her.

Time quickly passed and Denise was soon on the floor breathing hard. Roxy sat next to her holding out the water bottle; which Denise accepted gratefully. "So are you getting used to Army life yet?"

"It's much easier now." Roxy said with a nod. "Now that I have you, Claudia Joy, and Pamela as friends. It was pretty lonesome with just Trevor, and the boys. Especially with Trevor always off training." She laughed gently. "Betty is a huge help also of course."

"Time for you ladies to leave now." A rough male voice said. Roxy looked up and glared up into the man's face. "You have been on the mat for four hours. Have you ever heard of sharing?"

Roxy nodded and stood to her feet. She helped Denise up and both women walked away from the mat. "He could have been nicer." Roxy huffed as they reached the women's locker room.

"Doesn't matter." Denise said. "Beat you to the showers." With that she picked up her pace, Roxy followed suit. As they were leaving the gym Denise happened to look at the mat where the man was doing quick fried rapid judo moves. "I wish I could do that."

"I'll teach you. It will take time, but you'll learn." Roxy said pushing up the door, and allowing the older woman to pass ahead of her. She pulled out her sunglasses as the afternoon sun hit her eyes.

END CHAPTER SIX


End file.
